The Dream
"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Gandolf pushed his staff into the bridge and it cracked. The monster went down, and grabbed Gandolfs leg.
Gandolf was pulled back but clung onto the end of the bridge.
"Fly you fools!" He said before going down into the darkness.
"Gandolf!" Frodo screamed.
Stan: Oh yeah! Lord of the Rings Rocks!
Sandy: I donno, its kinda sad Gandolf died.
Stan: **rolls his eyes** Chill Sandy, he comes back to life in the second movie!
Sandy: And how do you know that may I ask?
Stan: I went to the movie theater duh.
Sandy: **sigh**
Sandy and Stan were watching Lord of the Rings from their cage on the table. Noel had rented it and invited Hilary to see it with him. Hilary brought Sandy to see Stan and they were all enjoying it.
Sandy: Man Im tired! What time is it? **She squinted to view the clock in the darkness** Hey Stan, what time is it when the two needle thingies are pointing up?
Stan: Shh Sandy! The best parts coming up!
Sandy: **rolls her eyes** Its just a movie Stan.
Stan: **he made a cutting motion across his throat**
Sandy: Whatever, Im gonna get some shuteye ok. Night bro.
Stan however, stayed awake. His eyes were glued to the screen as he watched Frodo battle the pain of the ring and face darkness. Stan always loved movies and wouldnt get to sleep if it wasnt finished. However, he broke his ritual that night when he blinked and couldnt open his eyes up again.
A little later, Stan tied to open his eyes and saw light, a lot of light. Stan blindly put his paw to his head and felt a bump.
Stan: Aww man! When did I do that!? **He opened his eyes and jumped**
Stan was in a large forest, alone.
Stan: Ok, this is freaky. Wheres my cage? Where am I?!
Stan: **thinks he gets it and smirks** Ok Sandy, this isnt funny! Im on to you! **he waited for an answer** Hello? Sandy? Anybody?!
Stan: This is weird. **He suddenly heard movement in the bushes**
Stan: Hello? **he looked and saw-** Hamtaro! Oxnard! Hey guys!
They didnt look at him.
Stan: Man whats wrong with them? **He ran over to them**
Stan: Guys! **He jumped out of a bush and in front of them**
Hamtaro and Oxnard: AHHH!! MORE SCARY PEOPLE ON HORSES! AHHH!
Stan: Uh, hi?
Hamtaro and Oxnard: AHHH! AHHH! AHHH!
Stan: Guys could you tell-
H and O: AHHH! AHHH!
Stan: Guys I-
H and O: AHHHH!
Stan: OK YOU CANT CUT THAT OUT NOW!
Hamtaro and Oxnard: **silence**
Stan: Ok, what Ive been trying to ask you is-
Stan looks and sees that they are wearing clothing that strangely looks like, the clothes they were wearing in the movie!
Stan: Hey! Did you guys see the Lord of the Rings too?
Oxnard: Uh
Stan: You guys look like youre wearing the same outfits as the actors! Did you go on EBAY or something?
Hamtaro: Uh
Oxnard: Dont look at him in the eyes Mr. Frodo.
Stan: **opens his mouth like he is going to say something but then realizes what Oxnard said** Mr. Frodo?
Hamtaro: Yes?
Stan: No, I mean, Oxnard- **Oxnard doesnt look at him** Hello?
Oxnard: Hello. My names Sam.
Hamtaro: And Im Frodo. Are you a good guy or a bad guy?
Stan: **gaping at them** Wha? Im Stan!
Oxnard/Sam: Stan? What kinda name is that for an elf?
Stan: Elf? **He looks down and sees he looks exactly like-**
Stan: I LOOK LIKE LEGOLAS FROM THE MOVIE!
Hamtaro/Frodo: Whats a movie?
Stan: **to himself** Ok, dont panic, they are just in on this. Sandy put me in this, left me in the woods, and told Hamtaro and Oxnard to act like Sam and Frodo. She saw the movie shed know. **calms down**
Stan: I cant believe I almost feel for this! I must have had one too many honey treats or something. **laughs**
Oxnard/Sam: **weak laugh**
Stan: Wait! **mocking them** If you guys are from Lord of the Rings, then you dont know what they are!
Oxnard/Sam: I know what they are.
Stan: Then what are they?
Oxnard/Sam: Well, theyre, those things that,
Stan: **sighs** You have no clue do you.
Oxnard/Sam: **sweat drops** Not really.
Hamtaro/Frodo: Shh! I hear something in the bushes!
Oxnard/Sam: What is it?
Hamtaro: I dont know.
The bushes rustle again and out come-
Howdy: Dont worry, Its just us!
Dexter: We found some mushrooms for second breakfast!
Stan: Ok, now I know something isnt right. Howdy and Dexter, together?
Oxnard/Sam: **points at Howdy and Dexter** I think he means you, cause he already called me Oxnard.
Howdy: Nah, we arent Dexter and Howdy.
Dexter: Were Merry and Pippin!
Stan: **speechless** **yells** YOURE ALL DELUSIONAL!
Dexter/Merry: Hold on! I heard something.
Hamtaro/Frodo: Everyones here right?
Oxnard/Sam: Who else could be coming?
Howdy/Pippin: Wed better hide.
Stan: What are you guys-
Frodo: Stan guy! We gotta hide! **He pulls him into a tree hollow**
Stan: What is-
Merry/Dexter: Shh
They heard the Ring Raiths walk by their tree. It looked over and but didnt see them. Only after they had left did Stan speak.
Stan: Ok, I admit, at first I was a little unsure but now, Im positive.
Frodo: About what?
Stan: Its not like me to go delusional like that so, the only other explanation is: THE WORLDS GONE OUTTA WACK MAN!
Stan: **caught his breath** Either that or she got a really good costume.
Pippin/Pippin: **to Merry** Not a very bright elf is he.
Sam: **shakes his head** Nope.
Stan: Ok, I donno what you guys are doing, or why I deserved this, but- Im getting outta here.
Frodo: No! Its dangerous out there! Youd be better off with us.
Stan: Why would I want to stay with you guys? Youve obviously gone crazy or something.
Frodo: Were going to the Prancing Pony. Our friend Gandolf wanted us to meet him there.
Stan: **skeptically** You know he dies in this movie right?
Frodo: What?
Stan: Never mind.
Sam: Mr. Frodo! Come and try these mushrooms! Youll starve if you dont eat something.
Stan: **stomach growls** Ill have some! **tries to grab some**
Merry: **pulls it away** No you wont. These are for Frodo.
Sam: Not to mention, I didnt offer you any.
Frodo: Double not to mention, I thought you were leaving.
Pippin: And we still dont know if youre a good guy or a bad guy yet.
Stan: But- **the others glare at him** fine. Theyre probably poisoned anyway.
Frodo: Wed better keep moving.
Stan: Well, you guys can you your way, but this Hamsters going solo.
Merry: Bout time.
Frodo: Just watch out for the bad guys ok?
Stan: **Is already ahead of them and has to yell** Nazgul ok! Gesh!
Stan walks forward into the woods and decides to take a break.
Stan: Ok, a little stressful, but this outfit is sweet! **finds something**
Stan: Whoa! I even got a bow and arrows! This keeps getting better and better! **Shoots off and arrow and hits a leaf thats falling a mile away** Two points!
He shoots off a few more and then it starts to rain.
Stan: Man! Im gonna get my outfit all soggy!
Looks ahead and sees a little town of some sort.
Stan: **sigh** I guess I could go there, I mean, who wouldnt let a good-looking hamster like me into their house?
Stan has a nice long walk up there when he comes up to a gate.
A Ham answers it and asks some annoying questions.
Stan: Common will you just let me in already!
Ham: Fine. Youre free to pass.
Stan starts to walk up when he sees an inn. He figures, Might as well go in there instead. While walking there, he hears Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin also getting annoyed at the questions. He looks up at the sign above the inn.
Stan: So this is the Prancing Pony. **he walks in, sits at a table, and watches the group of Hams also make their way in**
Frodo: Has Gandolf come yet?
Ham at the counter: No sorry.
Sam: Now what do we do?
Stan: Gotta admit, this is kinda cool. I wish Sandy could see how much Im enjoying it. **He turns back around and doesnt really pay attention to them until he hears Pippin say-**
Pippin: I know a Baggins! Frodo Baggins!
Stan: **turns just in time to see Frodo/Hamtaro disappear** Whoa! Talk about special effects!
Frodo re-appears after a little while and Stan sees him get grabbed by- Maxwell? He runs after him with Sam, Pippin, and Merry. He slowly makes his way after them. Not to make sure hes ok like the others, but to see how he did that magic trick. He didnt take that seriously because well, like I said, he thought it was just a good trick.
Stan: **can hear them talking in the other room** Theyre in there.
Pippin: I got that much.
Sam: We gotta break in and save him!
Stan: **hits his head** He doesnt need saving! Hes perfectly-
**Pippin, Merry and Sam dont listen and break into the room, Stan follows**
Sam: Let out friend go!
Maxwell: Hes safe. The question is, are you?
Stan: **comes in**
Maxwell: **stops and lowers sword** Legolas?
Stan: **pulls ears** Uh!
Frodo: Hes not Legolas, hes Stan.
Maxwell: **quizzically** Ok? Anyway, if you know them, I guess its all right.
Stan: Whoa Maxwell! Been working out or something?
Maxwell: **to Frodo** Youre sure hes safe?
Stan: Duh Im safe! Maxwell are you crazy too?
Maxwell: I know not of the Maxwell you speak of, my name is Aragorn
Stan: **puts paw on head** Oh my god.
Maxwell/Aragorn: **confused** What?
Stan: Youre not supposed to tell us that yet! Didnt you read the script?!
All but Stan: **falls anime style**
Stan: Gesh Sandy didnt even get a good actor for the lead role! Youre supposed to wait till Rivendell! After Hamtaro gets hurt!
All: Heke?
Frodo: I get hurt?
Maxwell/Aragorn: I thought you said your name was Frodo?
Frodo: Yeah, it is, but he thinks Im Hamtaro.
Maxwell/Aragorn: Oh.
Stan: **sighs in frustration** You guys are pathetic.
Suddenly, they hear a scream and all but Aragorn jump. The Nazgul (Ring Raiths) had come into the town and were searching.
Stan: Ok, those, those are good sound effects.
Sam: What are those?
Aragorn: The Nazgul or Raiths. They once were men, great kings of men. Then Sarumon gave to them rings of power. Blinded by their greed, they took them without question and fell one by one into darkness. They will never stop hunting you.
Stan: Uh, ok?
Aragorn: We have to go to Rivendell.
Sam: Rivendell! Were going to see an elf!
Merry: **points at Stan** Isnt he an elf?
Sam: **looks** Nah, he doesnt count. He thinks hes a Hamster remember?
Pippin: Guess youre right.
~ The Next Day, In the Woods ~
Stan: **is singing to himself** Over the river and through the woods to Rivendell we go
Aragorn: Will you shut up!
Stan: What? Im trying to make light of the situation!
Aragorn: Well, Its not helping! The situation is far from being lightened.
Sam: Uh, Aragorn? I need to-
Stan: Oh common! Not again! Why didnt you go when Frodo went?
Sam: I didnt need to go then!
Aragorn: Well stop for a minute.
Stan: Maxwell you cant be serious!
Aragorn: **doesnt notice him**
Merry: Hes talking to you.
Aragorn: **sighs** Yes?
Stan: Yeah, um, you cant be serious! We just stopped ten minutes ago! How am I ever going to find a flaw in Sandys joke if we stop to take a wiz every ten minutes!
Pippin: its called going to the bathroom.
Stan: You guys are hopeless.
Aragorn: They are only Hambits, Legolas-
Stan: Stan.
Aragorn: Stan. They need rest and uh, breaks.
Stan: But we-
Aragorn: If you dont like it then you can just go ahead yourself!
Stan: **delighted** Great! Thats the best idea youve come up with all day! **goes off**
Aragorn: **sigh** I donno whats gotten into him,
Merry: Dont worry, well see him again.
Stan: **heard them** Yeah right. **Starts to walk farther into the woods**
Stan: Im not coming back guys, and you can tell Sandy that I enjoy her little prank. **Finds out he is in the middle of nowhere**
Stan: Uh, and, um- **curses** Im totally lost. **gets an idea and smirks**
Stan: Ill just, follow the sound of their footsteps, they wont know that Im not there and I can get to Rivendell. Its a perfect plan! **Starts to follow the footsteps**
Frodo: **whispering to Aragorn** Hes following us.
Aragorn: I know.
Howdy/Pippin: **Stan steps on a twig and curses again** Not very quiet for an elf is he?
The three **four** walk on and on into the woods, Stan stays a safe distance from them. When Aragorn shows them the watchtower they are going to spend the night in, Stan stays on the ground and sleeps there. Aragorn leaves to find firewood and other useful items along to bring along. Stan soon hears a noise.
Stan: W-whos there?
???: Relax Legolas, its only us.
Stan: Oh yeah, Im Legolas now.
???: You had better come with us, Aragorn tells us youve been following them the whole time and weve come to take you to Rivendell.
Stan: He knew? Totally uncool. Uh, ok but, who are you?
Boss, and Cappy walk out of the Shadows.
Stan: Hey dudes! Boss! Cappy! Are you in on this too?
Cappy: **looks over his shoulder** There is no one here but us.
Stan: Yeah I meant- never mind.
Boss: Legolas, come on, we have to go.
Stan: All right but Im, uh, having a brain fart, what are your names again?
Boss and Cappy: **fall down anime style**
Boss: I am Gimli.
Cappy: And Boromir remember?
Stan: Oh, uh, yeah.
Cappy/Boromir: **hears the Raiths** We must flee.
Boss/Gimli: Youre right Boromir. Wed better leave quickly.
Aragorn: What is it? **he had come up from behind**
Boss/Gimli: Raiths, coming towards the Hambits.
Aragorn: I had better aid them. I will see you at Rivendell I presume?
Cappy/Boromir: You can bet your life on it.
Stan: Yeah.
**they all look at him**
They start to ride away on horses and Stan asks-
Stan: So Boss, what did Sandy have to give you to dress up in those clothes?
Boss/Gimli: I told you already, my name is Gimli and I am not your Boss!
Stan: Yeah, sure, whatever. Will you tell me Cappy?
Cappy/Boromir: **looks over shoulder to make sure he is talking to him then points to himself**
Stan: **nods**
Boromir: You are so clueless to whats happening, Legolas.
Stan: All right, Ill just stop asking and youll end up telling me in the end. **smirks** I hope.
Stan, Cap- I mean, Boromir, and Gimli traveled through the woods for a while. They only stopped once to rest, although the others were sleeping, Stan was wide-awake.
Stan: **owl hoots, Stan sits up** What was that?
Boromir: **groans** Will you shut up Legolas.
Stan: Uh, ok sorry. **starts to lay back down** Are you still awake Boss?
**No one answers**
Stan: I said, Are you awake? Hello?
**Still no answer**
Stan: **sighs** Cap- I mean, Boromir, I think Gimli is asleep.
**No answer**
Stan: **Stick snaps, Stan sits up** Whos there? **Gets up**
Stan: **louder** Whos there? **Arms his bow and goes toward the sound** Im warning you, I have a big bow and lots of arrows!
He heard a voice coming from the other side of the tree. He could tell it was speaking in a strange tongue, but he understood it. It said,
??: Come back to the light Frodo. I am Arwen.
He looked over to see Frodo laying on the ground gasping for breath and a girl ham. But not just any girl ham, it was-
Stan: **whispers** Sandy?
Sandy/Arwen: **to Aragorn in the strange language** This is beyond my skill, he needs my father. **Puts him on horse**
Aragorn: **in language** You stay here with the Hambits, Ill send horses for you later.
Arwen: I am the fastest rider, **seriously** I do not fear them.
Aragorn: Very well, **after Arwen mounts horse** Ride Hard!
Arwen: **in tongue to horse** Go, go-fast!
After she leaves Stan comes out.
Sam: **not noticing him** Are you crazy!? Those Raiths are everywhere!
Stan: So, you just left me there?
**They all jump and Aragorn says coolly**
Aragorn: You left. What were we supposed to do.
Stan: **he opens his mouth as if to say something but decides not too** Whatever. So, what was wrong with Frodo?
Sam: He got hit by one of those Raiths, **stares at him** I hope hell be ok.
Stan: You guys are so nieve! Hows he gonna do the next movies if hes dead?
**They all stare**
Stan: I give up.
Aragorn: Youd better go with Gimli and Boromir, Legolas.
Gimli: Youre still here Aragorn?
Stan: **turns around to see them walking up to the group** Bout time you guys woke up!
Gimli: Woke up! You wouldnt stop yapping! I never really got to sleep.
Merry: I can believe it.
Aragorn: We are stuck here, without horses we dont stand much of a chance to flee from the Nazgul.
Boromir: Take our horses. We are in no hurry.
Stan: Wha? But-
**They glare at him**
Stan: **sighs** I dont believe this.
So the Hambits **hobbits** ride off on the horses and the last group walks their way over to Rivendell. Its kinda boring listening to them walk so Ill just cut to when they are getting to Rivendell.
Boromir: Theres Rivendell.
Stan: About time! **falls down** I feel faint.
Gimli: You are the laziest elf Ive ever met! We are almost there and your going to lay down?
Stan: **shrugs** Hey, thats how I work.
Boromir: Pathetic.
Gimli: **hoisting Stan off the ground** I WILL NOT STOP HERE AFTER ALL THE WALKING WEVE DONE! **whacks him with the other side of his ax**
Stan: You-! **Whacks him with bow** WATCH WHERE YOURE POINTING THAT THING!
Boromir: **rolls eyes** We are two minutes away and you guys are going to bicker? **drags them**
Gimli: Alright! Unhand me! I get the picture! **shrugs him off**
They walk into Rivendell and are sent quickly to a Secret Council. Where King Elrond stands up to speak.
Elrond: This meeting is called to order. Frodo? Bring forth, the ring.
Frodo: **he walks up and places the ring down in the center of the circle. Everyone breaks out in talk**
Boromir: It is a gift! A gift to the enemies of Mordor! Why not use this ring for good?
Aragorn: The ring has only one master, it cannot be changed.
Boromir: And what would a Ranger know about it?
**Everyone looks at Stan**
Stan: **kinda not listening** Oh! My line. Uh, this is no ordinary Ranger! This is Aragorn, son of- of, uh, son of who was it
**Everyone rolls their eyes**
Stan: Wait! Give me a minute Im sure I can remember! **gives up** Ok, I cant remember that guys name but he is the heir of- **pauses as if thinking** that one dude that sliced that evil dudes fingers off!
**Everyone sweat drops**
Aragorn: Never mind Legolas.
Stan: **again he said this in a different language and again, Stan understood.** Uh, sure.
Elrond: The ring must be destroyed!
Gimli: Then what are we waiting for?! **he sends a strong blow at the ring and is sent back, the ring is unharmed**
Elrond: It must be cast into the fires of Mount Doom. There it was made, and only there can it be un-made. Who will do this?
**The group is silent**
Boromir: One does not just simply walk into Morodor. Blablabla bla bla bla
Stan kinda zoned out there.
Stan: Man this meeting is boring, Ive already heard this part, we arent doing anything so whats the point?
Elrond: **claps his hands** Legolas!
Stan: **jumps** Huh?
Elrond: Pay attention.
Boromir: As I was saying, it is guarded by bla bla blabla bla
Stan: There he goes again! My gosh will you just cut to the chase? Ill take the darn thing!
Gimli: I will be dead before I let the ring fall into the hands of an elf! Never trust an elf! Especially that one!
Stan: Whatever. **Stan watches as the group breaks into an outrage. He just sits there and sends Frodo a movement with his paw that means coo-coo. **
Frodo: **raising his voice to be heard** I will take the ring. Only, I do not know the way.
Gandolf: I will help you bear this burden. As long as it is your burden to bear.
Aragorn: I will protect you, dead or alive I will. You have my sword.
Gimli: And my ax.
**They all look at Stan**
Stan: **sigh** Sure, I need some adventure and trekking through the woods with some weird-os is no adventure. Ill come too.
Boromir: You carry the fate of us all little one.
Stan: **whispers to Frodo** Yeah, so no pressure ok?
Sam: Wait! **jumps out from behind a bush** Im coming too! Mr. Frodo doesnt go anywhere without me.
Elrond: Well, we see that it is almost impossible to separate you two even when he is sent to a secret council and you are not.
Merry/Dexter: Then were coming too! Youll have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us!
Pippin: Besides, you need people of intelligent sort, on this mission, quest, thing.
Merry: Well that rules you out Pip.
Elrond: Very well, you shall be the Fellowship of the Ring.
Pippin: Great! So, where are we going?
All but Pippin: **fall down anime style**
~ A Little Later ~
Loud adventurous music plays in the background and the group walks on, through mountainous terrain. You get a close up on each of the people walking in slow motion, then the camera shifts to view the place where they stopped to sit down.
Boromir: One two three, good!
He is practicing fencing moves with Pippin and Merry. Aragorn is watching, Sam and Frodo are eating, and everyone else is kinda sitting there.
Merry: I can do it faster.
Boromir: One two-
Aragorn: Move your feet.
Gimli: If anyone asked me, which I note they are not, Id say were taking the long way round. Gandolf, why dont we pass through the Mines of Moria?
Gandolf: **who looked like Elder ham** No Gimli, I would go there only if I had no other choice.
Stan: **raises voice** Ok, Im tired of complaining-
Merry: Thats a first.
Stan: Im tired of complaining, so Im just going to play along and enjoy the adventure. Oh yeah, and **stops and looks over hill** Uh, whats that?
What looked like a big black cloud was swooping towards them.
Boromir: Its moving fast.
Gimli: Its probably a cloud.
Aragorn: Moving against the wind?
Gandolf: Spies! Everyone hide!
**It didnt take long for everyone to hide under rocks and bushes, soon the group of Birds hit them like a, something that could hit hard. **
Gandolf: Spies for Saruman. The south is heavily guarded, we will have to use Plan B.
Stan: **counting on his fingers** Hamtaro, Oxnard, Sandy, Me, Maxwell, Cappy, Boss, Elder Ham, Howdy, Dexter. What does this guy, Saruman look like?
**Everyone stares**
Gandolf: Well, he is known as Saruman the White. He was put in charge of building the new army.
Stan: I know who it sounds like
Stan: Yeah, yeah, but what does he look like?
**Everyone stares**
Gandolf: Uh, he has white fur with black-
Stan: Yeah, its Panda.
Gandolf: Panda?
Stan: Never mind.
Aragorn: Wed better start our journey through the snow.
Everyone makes their way through the snow and Frodo falls, he rolls down hill and Aragorn stops him. He soon realizes that the ring is off his neck and looks franticly around noticing Stan pick it up.
Stan: Do you want this Frodo?
Frodo: **nods**
Stan: Here you go. **starts to hand it over**
Frodo: Than- **starts to take it but Stan pulls it away**
Stan: Too slow! **Holds it over his head**
Frodo: **jumps to try and get it** Give it back!
Stan: Monkey in the middle!
Aragorn: Give it back Legolas.
Legolas: **drops it in his paw** Sure. **notices Aragorns glare** Look, I was just having a little fun ok?
**They sigh and make their way farther up the mountain, soon it gets so deep only Stan, **being an elf** can stand on top of it. He is enjoying it almost too much easily getting on everyones nerves.**
Stan: **jumping up and down** Im jumping on snow! I can step on your heads! I can see my house from here! **looks** No never mind, I cant. **hears voice** I hear something dudes!
Gandolf: ITS SARUMON!
**The mountain starts to shower them with snow**
Aragorn: Hes trying to bring down the mountain! We must go back!
Gandolf: No!
**More snow showers them**
Gimli: If we cannot climb the mountain, let us go under it! Let us go through the Mines of Moria!
Gandolf: Let the ring bearer decide. Frodo?
Frodo: **jumps** Uh, I guess we should go through the mines.
Gandolf: So be it.
Stan: **snickers** Gandolfs gonna die!
Gandolf: Oh shut up.
**Everyone else is confused, but they disregard it because they are normally confused around Stan** They soon walk up to see a large lake thing. They all know what it is, but Gimli reinforces it.
Gimli: The Walls of Moria! We are here!
Stan: Woo hoo.
**They go up to the walls which are dangerously close to the water.**
Gandolf: **strokes the door** This door, it will only mirror starlight and moonlight.
The moon comes out from behind a cloud and the door starts to glow.
Gandolf: **reading the door** It says, Speak friend and enter.
Merry: What do you suppose that means?
Gandolf: Simple, if youre a friend, just say the password and enter! **he puts his staff up onto the door and says a few words in elfish**
Gandolf: **starts to push the wall** It didnt work. **says new words and pushes again, he does this about ten times**
Aragorn: **to Sam** The mines are no place for a pony, Sam. We have to let him go, he knows the way home.
Sam: **takes reins off* Goodbye Bill. **The pony rides off**
Merry: This is so boring.
Pippin: I bet I can through this rock farther then you Merry.
Merry: Fat chance Pip. **They both throw a rock into the water**
Aragorn: **stops them from throwing another.** Do not disturb the water.
Gandolf: I give up. **puts staff on the ground**
Boromir: There is something moving. **he points to the water and they all stare**
Frodo: **not interested with the water but with the door** Its a riddle.
Gimli: Its getting closer.
Frodo: Speak friend and enter! Gandolf, what is the elfish word for friend?
Gandolf: Mellon. **No, not melon like watermelon, mellon.**
The doors start to open and they all start to go inside. Gimli is very excited and is chattering with Stan about how great it will be.
Gimli: Im telling you master elf, soon we will be enjoying the welcome of the dwarfs! Malt beer, roaring fires, meat of the bone, and they call this place a mine. A mine!
Aragorn: This is no mine, its a tomb.
They all look down to see hundreds of dead bodies on the ground with arrows stuck through various places.
Gimli: No! No!
Stan: **takes an arrow out** Goblins!
Merry: Maybe he isnt so brain dead.
Pippin: No, its not that. All the arrows say Property of the Goblins on them.
**Merry falls down**
Boromir: We should never have come! Get out!
**They all start to shuffle backwards to the door way when suddenly Frodo is picked up by his feet and is dangling in the air.
Frodo: HELP! **he is pulled back to the lake and the tentacle that grabbed him is dangling him above it.**
Sam: Aragorn! Help!
Stan: No its ok I got it! **he shoots an arrow and it narrowly misses Frodos head**
Stan: Ok, never mind go ahead Aragorn.
Everyone is in the water but Stan who is shooting arrows the best he can from shore. All the warriors are chopping off tentacles left and right but never getting close to freeing Frodo. Soon, a large head comes out of the water. Aragorn jumps up and pulls Frodo free before the thing can eat him.
Gandolf: Into the mine! **they all start to run**
Aragorn: Legolas! **he is being narrowly missed by tentacles that want a piece of him**
Stan: **shoots an arrow right in the beasts eye** Oh yeah! Two points!
**They all run inside and the beast ends up taking down the exit in his rage.**
Stan: **to Aragorn** Oh yeah, I rule! I saved you butt out there.
Aragorn: Shut up.
Gandolf: We have but one choice, we must now brave the mines. Be on your guard, there are things worse then Orcs in the deep places of the world. It will be a four day journey so be quiet and hopefully out presence will be unnoticed.
They climb the mines for about half a day before Gandolf comes upon a fork. There are three passages to take and he seems to not know.
Gandolf: **to himself** I have no recollection of this place.
~ About a half an hour Later ~
Gandolf has been sitting next to the passageway for a while in deep thought. Everyone else is sitting away to give him concentration. They talk amongst themselves.
Stan: Do you think were lost?
Frodo: No were not lost. **Goes to talk with Gandolf**
Stan: **pauses** I think were lost
Boromir: Gandolf is thinking.
Sam: Did you guys hear that?
Aragorn: No.
Sam: Oh.
Pippin: Merry?
Merry: What?
Pippin: **pause** Im hungry.
**They all pause for a minute but then Gandolf exclaims-**
Gandolf: Ah! That way!
Merry: He remembers!
Gandolf: No, but the air doesnt smell as foul down there. Always follow your nose.
Stan: **to Gimli** Crack pot, Im telling you.
They walk through the dark Mines for a while until Gimli spots something. He runs ahead of them.
Gandolf: Gimli!
Gimli: **in a chamber looking down at a coffin** No, no, no.
Gandolf: **reads** Here lies Balin, Lord of Moria, he is dead then.
Gimli: **puts his head on coffin**
Gandolf: **picks up a book that is in the hands of a skeleton and reads it aloud** We have locked up the doors, but they are coming. We can hear the drums banging. They are coming. We cannot get out. We cannot get out.
Just then, Pippin backs into a skeleton that was sitting on a well. It falls down and everyone jumps. It also pulls the metal chain that was attached to its leg with it, and the chain brings the bucket. It makes quite a racket and echoes throughout the mines. It ends with a large thud of the bucket landing on ground.
Gandolf: **angrily** You fool of a took! Next time through yourself down there and rid us of your stupidity!
They all stop, the faint sound of drums is starting to begin.
Stan: Oh, poop.
Boromir: That cant be good.
Frodo: **pulls out sword** Oh no!
Aragorn: Orcs!
Gandolf: Ready your weapons! **They all rush to the door and push it closed. After that is done Aragorn tells Stan something**
Aragorn: They have a cave troll.
Stan: **to himself** Ok, dont panic. Its time for some action anyway and you were getting bored.
Gimli: **hears pounding on the door** Let them come! There is one dwarf left in Moria that still draws breath!
Boromir: Here they come!
Stan: **sees eye through a hole in the door. He shots it though the hole and sees his arrow go up and down, the sound of Orc screaming filled the air** Ok this is getting freaky.
Gandolf: Hambits stay close to me!
Aragorn: Get ready! **The door opens** Go!
Soon a huge fight takes place, everyone tries to stay alive and kill as many Orcs as possible.
Stan: So, **shoots another Orc and kills it** How you doing Gimli?
Gimli: I got two!
Stan: Kewl! I got bout seventeen!
Gimli: How are you beating me?!
Took that from Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers. ^_^
Sam: **slams an Orc on the head with a frying pan** I think Im getting the hang of this!
Boromir: Watch out! **A large troll comes through the door and whaps a few Orcs out of its way**
Aragorn: Wheres Frodo?
The troll suddenly notices something behind a column and sniffs at it. He turns, roars, and then-
Frodo: AHH! **He heard a thud but didnt have a clear view of what happened**
Pippin, Merry, and Sam: Frodo!
Pippin and Merry soon went into rage mode and jumped onto the trolls head, scratching and hitting him with all they had. The troll threw him off his back and Stan thought that it might be fun.
Stan: **jumps onto the trolls back and shoots an arrow on his head** How do you like me now?!
The troll threw him off hiss back and Stan shot one last arrow at his chest. That was all the troll could take, he fell to the ground. Stan ran to Frodo to see what had happened. Frodo was on the ground and Sam hoisted him up.
Sam: Hes alive!
Gandolf: I think there is more to this hambit that meets the eye.
Frodo: **unbuttons the top of his shirt to reveal**
Gimli: Methrail! You are full of surprises!
**They all smiled, but then they heard more Orcs coming**
Gandolf: To the bridge of Cosadoom.
They ran as quickly as they could behind Gandolf, who was the only one who knew the way, and tried to ignore the group of Orcs coming up behind them. Although they were fast, the Orcs finally caught up with them and surrounded the group. They were about to attack when a loud booming and roaring came from another chamber. The Orcs ran off in fear.
Gimli: Ha!
Frodo: Gandolf? What is that?
Gandolf: A Borock; A beast of Shadow and flame. Run!
Run for your lives!
They again ran from the beast of which they had not seen and came to a bridge.
Gandolf: Lead them on Aragorn.
Aragorn: **pulls out his sword**
Gandolf: Weapons will be of no use here! Now go!
They continue running and jumping across bridges, narrowly missed by Orc arrows that rained from above, until they reached the way out.
They all ran across but Gandolf.
Frodo: Gandolf! Common!
Gandolf: **faces the beast who shows himself as a monster of flames.** You cannot pass! Go back to the shadow where you belong!
**The beast, taking no head to Gandolf, takes a step on the bridge.**
Gandolf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
**Gandolf pushed his staff into the bridge and it cracked. The monster went down, and grabbed Gandolfs leg.
Gandolf was pulled back but clung onto the end of the bridge. **
Gandolf: Fly you fools! Then he went down into the darkness. **
Frodo: GANDOLF!
**More arrows rained down on them and they were forced to leave the cave at once. **
They paid their respects with a moment of silence outside, but knew that they had to move on. They kept moving and soon reached a forest.
Gimli: Stay close young Hambits. They say and Elf witch lives in these woods of terrible power. All who look upon her fall under her spell and are never seen again.
Stan: **rolls his eyes and whispers** Can anyone make him be quiet?
Gimli: **takes no notice** Well, heres one dwarf she wont ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox- oh.
**He turned around and saw a group of elves pointing arrows at him**
Elf: That dwarf is so loud we could shoot him in the dark.
Aragorn: We have come for help.
Gimli: Aragorn, the woods are dangerous, I think we should go back.
Elf: You are not going back anytime soon. The Lady of the Woods is waiting.
He took them deep into the woods and into a city. They were greeted by a lady in white clothing that looked like-
Stan: **whispering** Bijou.
Elf: Eight are here but nine set from Rivendell. Tell me where is Gandolf? I very much wanted to speak with him.
Bijou/Lady: He has fallen into shadow. The quest stands on the edge of a knife, stray just a little and it will fail. Yet, hope remains while company is true. Do not let your hearts be troubled, go and rest. You are weary with sorrow and toil, tonight you will sleep.
Stan: **to himself** Fat chance. I havent gotten any sleep for the past days and Im not tired.
~ Later ~
All of them are calming down and resting in the area the Lady of the Woods/Bijou provided them. Stan found elves that look like Pashmina and Penelope, and went to try and talk some sense into them.
Aragorn: **notices Stan come walking back over with red cheeks like he was just slapped**
Aragorn: Whatever you did Im sure you deserved it.
Stan: **glares at him and rubs his face** They are all crying for Gandolf over there.
Boromir: Why are they crying?
Stan: The sorrow is much too close for me to explain. **Stan looked as if someone punched him in the stomach**
Stan: I gotta get outta here!
Gimli: I was going to explore with Aragorn if you would like to join us.
Stan: I dont know. I guess its better then doing nothing.
By the time they get back, it is morning and time for them to set off.
They are given boats, and directions.
Stan: **to Aragorn** Did we get any help?
Aragorn: No.
Stan: Did we get any weapons?
Aragorn: No.
Stan: Did we get any 411?
Aragorn: **looks at him funny**
Stan: **sighs** info.
Aragorn: No.
Stan: Then what was the point of coming!?
Gimli: We got boats.
Stan: **sigh**
They continue riding their boats onward until they reach land.
Aragorn: Some of us had better collect firewood.
Boromir: Ill do that.
Stan: **to Aragorn** I think my elf instincts are kicking in. I feel unwanted presence. We had better leave.
Aragorn: No. We must stay until it is safe to go on.
Stan: But-
Aragorn: We stay.
Sam: Im really hungry. Are you Frod- **looks around** Guys? Wheres Frodo?
**They all look around but dont see anything**
Aragorn: Gimli! You stay with the Hambits, everyone else, wed better look for him.
Stan: **looks around and sees something moving in the bush** Hello?
Stan: **it moves again** Frodo? Is that you?
It isnt Frodo. An Orc jumps out from behind the bush and slices Stan in half.
Stan: NO! **he wakes up in a cold sweat**
Sandy: **groans** Stan? Whats wrong?
It is still dark outside, and Stan seems to be in a cage.
Stan: Arwen! What are we doing here?
Sandy: **looks at him for a while** Arwen?
Stan: Is this the Orcs prison or something?
Sandy: Prison?
Stan: Last thing I remember is the Orc slashing me and- **smiles** Im alive! I survived! Im invincible!
Sandy: **gabs him by the shoulders and shakes him** Stan! Calm down! We are not in a prison, my name is not Arwen, and you must be going crazy!
Stan: I- wait. What about- you dont remember any of it?
Sandy: **shakes her head** Stan, it was just a dream. Take it easy ok? Get back to sleep.
Stan: But- **he shakes his head and lays down** it was all just a dream. None of it ever happened,
Stan: **he puts his paw on his head and feels the bump** or did it?
Me: Is it possible to reach an alternate reality when we go to sleep? Was the bump just a coincidence? OR was it, real. Nah, it wasnt real I mean, Stan cant be dead and then alive can he? But if he didnt ever really die then- nah. OR are our dreams the reality and reality is dreams? OR did Stan just bump his head and forget about before he went to sleep and remembered it in his dream. You decide, and join us tomorrow night for another edition of The Twilight Zone. LOL, or um, just another Fanfic.
I'll be quiet now.
